A Thank You

So, I never did end up posting again on Sunday.  The meds put me into such a dopey state that stringing words together seemed like a monumental task. 
I've been resting these last few days; whenever I try to walk it hurts so much it cripples me.  Resting like this has let me catch up on movies I've been meaning to watch.  Or re-watch as the case may be.  I've got a VCR (yes, yes I do) and we actually use it from time to time.  It's actually Mike's but whatever.
Anyhow, Mike set it up so that all we have to do is switch the red-yellow-white cables and voila!  Old school movie magic!
I set this up Friday night and rummaged through the tapes the three of us (Mike, me and Nikki, our roomie) have and decided on "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" and "The Sting."  "Roger Rabbit" is one of my all-time favorites and it never disappoints.  It doesn't look dated and looks even better on pain killers.  It took me back to my teenage years; I remember I saw it with my sister.  That was a good day, we had so much fun.

Then, after the last credits rolled on "Roger Rabbit," I put in "The Sting."  The made it half way through that sucker and was thoroughly confused.  I decided to finish it when I'm not on industrial strength prescription drugs. 

Over the last few days, I've had the opportunity to think.  A lot.  I have to give much thanks to Jacci and Whitney who stayed by my side through the ER ordeal; to Nikki for bringing me my favorite burger and fries and to Jen and Matt for pizza and "Tangled."  I also have to thank my friends on Facebook (who are my friends in Real Life), for sending me love when I was sad and lonely today.  I give thanks to and for my family who have been with me on this road for the last 12 years.  I could not have made it this far without them by my side.

I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm truly blessed, despite my medical condition.  These are the people and blessings that get me through each day.  Thank you all and I love you.

But, then I started thinking of the flip side.  For all my optimism, I have a healthy dose of skepticism.  I wonder about those people who think autoimmune diseases are just an excuse for people to be lazy.  I think about the fact that not everyday is a bad day for me and just as soon as an flare up comes on, it can leave me in peace.  Or hang on for weeks. 

I have encountered a lot of disbelief when it comes to these diseases.  There are people who think it's bogus and all in my head, despite 12 years of medical records to prove otherwise.  I get sick of feeling that I must justify and defend my illness to people, especially those who know how the extent to which I suffer.  Honestly, it makes me furious.

But these are things that I can't dwell on or else it'll fester inside me and my skepticism will overtake my optimism.  If I allow these feelings of anger at some attitudes, then I become skeptical of motives of people who actually mean well.  I've encountered some people who want to help only to see if the illness is real and if I will "slip up" and act healthy.  I cannot stand this attitude.

Ok, enough venting.  Thinking about these idiots then takes me full circle back to the lovely, selfless people in my life who are there for me when I'm sick.  The purpose of this post is to let those people know how much I appreciate them and to say thank you for helping me.